Saturday, November 22, 2008

Cafe Preggers

We always have just what you want, at any stage of pregnancy - from the queasy beginning to those last weeks when the baby has taken up every ounce of spare room in your belly.

First Trimester Menu

Appetizer
Tums compote
Entree
Fresh Saltines on a bed of Saltines, lightly seasoned with Saltines
Beverage
Ginger ale (IV drip available upon request)
Dessert
Ten minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head

Second Trimester Menu
Appetizer

Half a roast chicken, extra crispy
Entree*
A succulent leg of lamb smothered in pork chops, served with BBQ ribs and garnished with cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for your safety)
Beverage
Toll House pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream
Dessert
9" x 16" pan of double-fudge brownies

Third Trimester Menu
(Each course followed by 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break)
Appetizer
Three bites of tossed salad
Entree
Two bites of lasagna
Beverage
None - so you'll have room for dessert
Dessert
A Tic Tac

*Double portions available if you're expecting multiples


(by Melissa Balmain, from babytalk * mom-to-be magazine, Fall/Winter 2008)

2 comments:

Tiffany said...

That is so funny...and so true! :)I am somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd trimester stages. I am starting to feel the need to slow down in how much I eat or it makes me miserable!

Sarah said...

This is hilarious! Boy it brings back memories. I had an appetite that was out of control my second trimester. I've never eaten so many steaks!